HOW TO DEAL WITH ANGER
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After the Christchurch shooting at New Zealand in which dozens were killed, I was wondering why someone would wake up and decide to start killing certain groups of people. Although the document posted by the perpetrator, Brenton Tarrant, on the social media where he made known his reasons for going such extra mile has been successfully removed from the reach of the general public, I did my best to lay hold on that document and know what the problem was with Brenton Tarrant. Guess what? It was just anger! Whether valid or not isn’t the point but the many pages of what he wrote would be summarized in just one word “anger!” He was angry of sharing same space with people he believed are different from him, he was angry with Muslims and he allowed that anger get the best of him to the point anger became just a part of him that he doesn’t even realize he was angry. Whatever consequences he faces today, all thanks to uncontrolled anger!
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We all get angry at a certain point! Even the coolest guy you’ve ever met would get to that breaking point where he shouts “I can’t take it anymore! I must put an end to it today.” Anger is usually harmless at first and God wants us to leave it at that harmless level but then anger can grow like wildfire into something very destructive that becomes very difficult to put in its place. However, you don’t belong to anger, anger belongs to you and you can learn to subject it under your control. Anger is just like any one of those other feelings! If you can handle the feeling of hunger when there isn’t any food insight you can handle the feeling of anger when you understand that there should be limits with which you express it.
Many people think being “real” means allowing their emotions to dictate every of their move! They would break bottles and scatter the tables out of anger and they would say “well, that is just me. I am just keeping it real!” Well, anger isn’t your identity and you have to deal with it right away. You don’t have to always talk and act just in accordance with how you feel but you rather understand how you feel and still go ahead to do what is right. In the previous article, we saw how great it is to live at peace with all men even when they wrong us. Let me say again, anger in itself is not wrong but when you allow anger to take control of you, it will definitely lead you into wrongdoing. What you do with anger is what determines what it becomes to you!
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You will definitely get angry at times even after attending a master class on emotional intelligence! The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26–27 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” See that carefully, the Bible says “in your anger…” Which means you’ll definitely get angry no matter how you try to avoid it but then always remember that it is your anger and you can control it. The Bible never said you will not get angry, however, the Bible offers you the truth that you have the ability to put it under control. God isn’t going to uproot anger from you, anger is part of the emotions He gave you! But you can get stronger in the word of God as you learn to do what is right.
DON’T LET IT BURN
Do not nurture anger to growth, you have to start dealing with the feeling the moment it is beginning to surface. The more you allow it to thrive, the more you risk losing control. Anger is like fuel, it increases at the rate with which it burns until there is nothing left of it! The Bible says in Proverbs 16:32 (TLB) “It is better to be slow-tempered than famous; it is better to have self-control than to control an army.” The person who is able to put his anger under control is better than those who appear strong! It is better to be called a coward for putting your temper under control than showing the ability of your muscles in a fight. If you are a believer in Christ Jesus, you have self-control readily available in you! Once you recognize that anger is surfacing, deal with it immediately!
CAPTURE YOUR THOUGHTS
Back then, when I get really very angry and so bitter, there are thoughts that start coming into my head. There was even a certain time I felt like tearing my offender apart, there were other times I felt like killing myself and there were other times I felt like stabbing my offender. Once I get overtaken by anger, there are so many evil options playing out before me. Many people kill because of anger, others even commit suicide or make very poor choices as a result! You can capture your thoughts and say to it “I submit you into obedience to Christ.” The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 10:5 “and we tear down every proud idea that raises itself against the knowledge of God. We also capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ.” As a believer in Christ Jesus, you must always allow the word of God to build up your character and not what you feel. When you feel something that isn’t consistent with the word of God, you’ve got to know what God is saying in that situation and submit to it! When you entertain wrong thoughts, your anger is on the increase.
FORGIVE AND LET GO
True forgiveness isn’t just in saying “I forgive you” and going ahead to still carry it on your mind. We aren’t God and therefore we cannot forget entirely what people did to us but we can let go if we have truly forgiven them. When you forgive people their wrongs (even when they never apologised) you are also making it very easy for yourself to deal with the anger that had come with what they did wrong! in Matthew 18:21–22, Peter asked Jesus saying “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” and Jesus answered him and said, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” In Luke 17:4, we understand Peter was asking about the limits of wrongs we could bear in a day! I know even the devil doesn’t offend you that much daily! Now, you’ve got to just go ahead and forgive! If you believe you need justice, allow God to fight your fight for you! He said vengeance belongs to Him alone (Romans 12:19). Remember Jesus died for you while you were yet a sinner, so allow God to do with others what He wants to do with them.
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Dealing with anger is something you do intentionally! Being a believer in Christ Jesus doesn’t stop you from getting angry or even acting wrongly out of anger! However, you have been empowered to deal with it! If it is not going to matter in the future, why spend the next minute being angry about it?
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I hope this blessed you? Let’s get your feedback from the comment section.
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#GracefulGeorge
