OBSESSION | HOW TO DEAL WITH IT
Obsession may look like unconditional love but it is a silent killer, killing your identity gradually and destroying your self esteem to the barest minimum! So many people are going through obsession thinking it is love but if you ever come to that point where you can’t be without that person, where you think life isn’t worth it without him or her, where you think the future makes no sense without him or her, where you have to accept everything just to be with him or her, then you are obsessed with that person. You could easily tell if you are obsessed with that person when you no longer have your own personal life, when every single thing you do is all about that person, when you are extremely insecure whenever that person isn’t with you, when you still feel like it should be “honeymoon” all of the time, when you try to control his or her behaviours, when you accept even emergency dates and cancel or your plans just to please him or her and lots more! Obsession can rob you off your visions because you aren’t living your life anymore but for another person.
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Obsession will not only ruin you, it will ruin your relationship with the other person! I have been there before and I can tell you it is not a good thing! At some point you could tell something isn’t right and yet you can’t even let go because you are just scared of being alone! There is a way out and we’ll be looking at them.
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1. ADMIT IT: The first step to solving any problem is to admit you have that problem! Until you are true to yourself about something, you cannot be willing to work on it. If you don’t admit you are hungry, you probably will never get up to eat! Knowing there is a problem gives you a headlight to what exactly needs fixing!
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2. BE YOURSELF: Obsession definitely changes people to become a version of someone else that exist in their mind! They take up characters that aren’t unique to them just to ensure they stay on the track and never lose out in the relationship. Now that you want to work on yourself, you have to admit who you are and start living your life without apology. You don’t have to become someone else just to stay in a relationship, if they cannot love who you are, they shouldn’t be in your life in the first place. If they don’t love the fact that you are endomorph or ectomorph, then you shouldn’t be with them! You have to accept the way you are, the shape you came in and admit that it’s not everyone that will like the way you are and that you have a choice too! Yea, it is true you should try to make some changes where you have flaws but if they can’t love you despite the flaws, they can’t accept you because you can’t change in a twinkle of an eye!
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3. LOOKING BEYOND THE VEIL: Obsessed people seem to be limited in sight! They seem to have a covering that prevents them for looking far into the person they are obsessed with. They might be fighting and doing all the work to keep relationships going while their partner isn’t concerned about the relationship! Obsessed people feel they don’t have a choice and so they take everything and all the blame, they also apologise for even the mistakes they aren’t guilty of! They are so obsessed with staying in the relationship because they feel life is meaningless without that person and therefore they are blind to things they are supposed to see. Truth is, you will have to open up your eyes and start analyzing that relationship. If you and your partner aren’t on the same level of emotion in that relationship, something is wrong! You can’t be hot and someone else you consider a part you is cold! This is where you begin to check if that your partner is what you bargained for or you were just under the influence of your obsession.
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5. BE INDEPENDENT TO SOME POINT: Stop making all your life revolve around one person! You’ve got your own life; you are your own brand! You may appear extremely romantic and unconditionally loving when you make it all about your partner but trust me, it will not always go well with you because you will be losing yourself in the process. When you are so dependent on someone else, they unintentionally take charge of your happiness. At some point, you will need your own space, your own time, your own friends and your own decisions and they have to respect it! This way, you find yourself on the process of rediscovering yourself.
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6. LOVE YOURSELF: Well, I am not asking you to become selfish but you’ve got to love yourself! You’ve got to look yourself in the mirror, admire yourself and treat yourself better! Obsession will make you forget yourself and your well being! However, when you intentionally start loving yourself, start believing that you are worth loving too, start seeing yourself as a very special person and stop letting your emotions decide what you do; you will suddenly realize that it’s not worth it to beg for love! Obsessed people technically beg for love and attention. Be in charge of your emotions.
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7. GET BUSY: If you are always less busy, you may be nursing obsession because you will spend more time thinking about someone! While it’s good to have people in mind, it is terribly bad to give over your mind to them! Find something doing, focus on your career, focus on those things you love and dedicate yourself to them. There is a popular saying “the only way to defeat obsession is to become obsessed with something else” and that is true! Find relevant places to invest your passion and emotions into! Your obsession to someone will affect your productivity but when you intentionally start paying attention to other areas of your life, it will bring a balance!
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8. DISCOVER A FRIEND: Make God’s word; the Bible, your daily routine and dosage! Trust me; the words in the New Testament if taken serious will go a long to heal you and make you what it talks about! It will not happen like magic but each time you read about God’s unfailing love; you will keep realizing how much you don’t need to build your life around someone who has the ability to fail you but build it on God’s word which has all the ability to sustain you! Dedicate sometimes to prayers, not necessarily to make demands but to pour your heart to God just as it is! Remember He is your number one friend!
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How helpful is this to you? Keep the comments coming!
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I am George O.N
The Man-In-God
#GracefulGeorge
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