WHAT I’LL TEACH MY SONS | The Initials!
In a world of extreme disorder and imbalance, I’ll not raise my kids to think like the rest of the people, I’ll not raise them to see someone else as inferior and disadvantaged, I’ll not raise them to have the feeling of superiority over another and yet they will not feel inferior! My kids will know who they are, appreciate who they are but also respect who others are. Yes, my sons will not be exposed to the wrong trainings that turned men into beasts and extreme unrepentant egocentric bullies! I may not sit them down at all times to tell them what to do but I’ll show them how to truly be a man with what I do.
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My sons will grow up to understand that there is no such thing as “kitchen is for women”. They will understand that anyone who could get hungry could get to the kitchen! They will learn how to cook not just from their mother but from me too! They will understand that God didn’t create women and gave them special cooking skills, anyone could do well in the kitchen and everyone is wired for the kitchen. Hold on… Is it just about kitchen? You’d ask! No, it’s not just about kitchen but the idea that usually link women to the kitchen cause more harm than good because it affects other areas of life, so if you think I am always over-flogging the issue of who goes to the kitchen, then you are part of the problem. Assigning domestic duties to a specific gender causes imbalance! Domestic chores isn’t gender-based.
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I will teach my sons to respect the woman! I once visited a family where the females must serve the boys even if those boys are very junior to them! The girls must greet their junior brothers and serve them and I asked, they told me “we are teaching them how to be good wives!” And I quickly asked “then how do the boys learn how to be good husbands?” I think it is arrant nonsense to think such thing is training! I’ll never teach my sons that they deserve respect from women while women doesn’t deserve such from them. Just in a bit:
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1. ATTENTION: I’ll teach my sons to pay attention to the woman with how I pay attention to my wife. Kids observe a lot and they imitate whatever they observe with speed! The boys will always treat their sisters just exactly how their father treat their mother, this is why it is important to settle disputes inside but shower all the love and admiration in the presence of the children! How I compliment my wife, seek her opinion, protect her, support her and pay attention to her change of mood will obviously reflect in how much sons treat my girls. I’ll make my sons understand that their sisters are treasures that needs to be cherished! When they grow up, they will eventually export this love. I’ll make my sons understand that loving a woman is part of their purpose!
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2. COMMUNICATION: I’ll teach my sons that they aren’t wired the same way the woman is wired! I’ll teach them that for understanding to thrive, they must be patient enough to communicate with their sisters and digest all their rants! I’ll teach my sons that while they think things will be fine even if they don’t talk it out, that the woman wants to talk it out! With the way I communicate with my wife, my sons will know that communication is key! Aside just communicating, I’ll teach my sons that a woman’s opinion matter a lot and he’ll learn to respect her opinions too.
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3. RESPECT & HONOUR: I usually hear “respect is reciprocal” but it only exist in the texts! In our part of the world, “respect is gender-based.” When a woman expresses her views and decides to stand on her right people shout on her and say “shut up! Don’t you know you are a woman? Is this how you will enter marriage? You don’t talk while men are talking!” I will warn my sons against such understanding, I will not just practice it for them to learn, I’ll also inscribe it in their hearts that a woman too needs respect and honour! I will make my sons understand that under no circumstances should they undermine a woman because she is a woman! It will be an abomination, a craze and almost like eating a “forbidden fruit” to shame a gender in my world! No matter the argument or fight, it will never be heard of that one of them ever said “women and their chicken brain!” I’ll teach them self-control and openness! That much respect they want, they should also give it out.
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4. LOYALTY: I’ll teach my sons that when they eventually start dreaming of bringing someone else into their lives, they should ensure they are ready to submit their loyalty to the core. I’ll teach them that faithfulness is key and that they must be accountable to that relationship. This will largely tell on how I treat my wife too! I know it’s fine to have mutual friends with my wife but on no account will my wife become a subject of discussion and on no account will I export a friendship I share with my wife to someone else. I’ll teach my son that men can be loyal to their woman by being extremely loyal to my wife. Loyalty doesn’t just happen, it is intentional. I’ll make my sons understand that trust is something that should never be compromised, it should be held high at all cost!
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5. PRINCIPLE OF FIRST LOVE: I’ll teach my sons the principle of first love! I don’t really mean “first lover” but first love! I’ll teach my sons that they’d stay with their sisters for so many years even up to two decades and still love them like they have always done at first! I’ll teach them this by ensuring I fan the love I have for my wife aflame! I know there are times I may feel like there is more, I know there are times I may not feel that urge to extraordinarily be all out for my wife, I’ll teach them that it has nothing to do with feelings! I’ll teach them that love is intentional and can be grown! Everyday will be like “we just fell in love” for I and my wife. They’ll observe this and they will play it out individually. Those things I did with my wife when we first met will always be replayed, we will still go out on such dates and I’ll teach my boys that girls are designed to be loved and protected by boys not because girls are weak but because they are treasures.
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6. HONEYED WORDS: My sons must understand that they should be the first to tell their sisters how beautiful, strong, smart and inspiring they are before those on the streets begin to pour in their own compliments! My daughters will walk on the road with their heads high and when those boys say to them “you are very beautiful” they will respond “yea, I just heard that this morning from my family.” I’ll teach my sons that compliments are things that should consistently come from them to their sisters because they will always see me do that! I’ll make my girls so get used to how beautiful they are that no man on the streets will take advantage of it! My sons will understand the mystery behind “compliments” and also make it a habit even after they have grown! My sons will know that when she feel stressed and on the verge of giving up hope, she will need encouragement and words like “you can do this dear! Try, try and try again!” My girls will always come running to my boys when they need a shoulder to lean on!
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7. GIFTS ARE LIFTS: Just like it seem I am wired, my boys will grow up understanding that girls deserve gifts and they interpret caring this way! Because they will always see me come home with nice stuffs (maybe inexpensive sometimes but from a sense of value) to my wife, they will also learn that women aren’t receivers because they want to dig gold, they are receivers because of how they interpret love! My boys will always stand out for my girls knowing so well that these girls in return will stand in for them!
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8. APPRECIATION: My sons will learn from me how “appreciation” do the magic! Anytime my woman do the dishes or the chores, I’ll appreciate her with all my heart because she’s doing us a favour! I’ll say thank you for bathing the child, I’ll say thank you for the food, I’ll say thank you for just everything and they too, not just the boys will learn that every good deed deserves appreciation! This way, they will know that no one is wired to do it exclusively.
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9. EQUAL BUT UNIQUE: I will vehemently teach my kids that the man and woman is equal but unique! I’ll never let the society corrupt them and teach them the wrong things! How am I going to do this? I am not going to relieve myself from teaching them, I’ll not depend on what they are taught in school and in children’s church! I will ensure that I am not too busy for them because they are part of my business. I will make my sons understand that everyone deserves equal opportunities and encouragement and I’ll teach them that both the man and the woman forms the very fabrics of humanity. This way, they will understand that there is no superior gender to another.
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10. LEADERSHIP: I’ll teach my sons that they are leaders but I’ll also make them understand the context in which their leadership is supposed to play out. I will teach them that a leader isn’t one who want things his own way, a leader is one who is ready to serve, I’ll teach them that the leader of every home is a servant-leader! He is leading them into service, showing them how to serve and leading by example! They will learn that being the “head” means being the “chief servant”.
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This is the best time to be living because I will be intentional with my family! The Bible says “train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it!” My family is a model and the narratives are changing. Once again, loving a woman is part of man’s purpose… Son, copy that!
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My name is George O.N
I am highly family oriented!
#GracefulGeorge
